answering the phone interview

So, how can you maximize what you convey with your voice? Follow these simple steps.

1. Do Some Power Poses

A few minutes before the interview, prep by doing some “power poses.” Research shows that standing with your legs shoulder-length apart with your hands on your hips and your chest out for just two minutes raises your testosterone levels, lowers cortisol, and makes you sound more confident. You might feel silly, but at the very least, it’ll help calm some nerves. Definitely a good thing!

2. Stand Like a Speaker

Like anyone who’s speaking or telling a story, you want to sound dynamic and engaged. And slouching in a chair is just not going to help with this. Instead, try positioning yourself like a speaker: A good setup is having some relevant materials on a desk or table in front of you as you stand. (And by relevant, I mean bulleted talking points, not prepared documents — remember, you want to sound natural and energetic!)

3. Don’t Forget to Smile

And feel free to laugh! Yes, this is an interview for a job, but ideally it’s also a conversation between two mutually interested parties. Don’t make the mistake of sounding overly serious or timid. Your skills and qualifications got you the interview, but it’s your personality and commitment that wins over hiring managers. The fact is, no matter how standardized companies try to make their interview processes, being friendly and getting the interviewer excited about working with you will have a huge effect on whether you get invited to the on-site interview. So, smile! Even if they can’t see it, your voice will sound more cheerful.

As a final note, treat this as you would an on-site interview, and do the proper logistical preparation. Make sure you have a quiet place to conduct the interview, and check to see if you have good phone signal (better yet, use a landline). Confirm the date and time with your interviewers a day before, along with a line letting them know you’re looking forward to it. Because, you are! Especially now that you’re ready to blow them away with your energy and drive.

Let the company be what the company wants to be.

.     Don't worry about the details until the details matter. Keep moving. Send the email. What will be will be. A word here or there doesn't matter that much. Worrying about the details before you even know if there will be details to deal with is a waste of time. It's all written in the stars.

.     The big decisions and grinding are what matters. Big decision: our Chairman Ken Lerer strongly felt BuzzFeed needed to go into hard news. That big decision, hiring Ben Smith and going into news and reporting, was transformative for the company. Grinding: Ken also said that climbing a giant mountain is too hard. Instead climb one peak at a time, and once you summit one little peak, climb the next one. In this spirit, my first month at BuzzFeed, I just focused with Jonah and the team on getting to $50K in revenue. That was small but it was a start, thinking about a big revenue target a year out would have been like trying to climb the whole mountain at once.

Every day do something that makes you uncomfortable. Pick up the phone. Have a hard conversation. But be kind and direct as I once heard Bill Campbell say.

There is a difference between dread and hard. Do the hard things. The things you dread are probably impossible tasks that will slow the business down. Dread is your internal indicator telling you to stay away from something, like a particularly slow to buy client market.

Love the people, partners, and companies that need the love. Always remember who loved you first. Once everyone loves something it's too late for you to prove your commitment and stand out.

Hire the person who is too big for the company and give them nothing to do. They will either nap or invent something. And make these hires people who want the brass ring.

Find and then force kismet - go to lots of things but be committed to finding a potential hire, sales prospect, etc. And be efficient, have one drink and leave. And offer up ideas, a hack, a recommendation to look at something.

Stick to your word especially when you regret it. But when the ground has changed be clear about that. And always make things better - not just right.

Wait till you have the decision. When in doubt don't act for a day or two. Sleep on it.

Be bummed. Give yourself a set amount of time. And it can even be a long time. And then dust yourself off.

Do lots of random shit. Read, fly drones, go to a hot sauce festival. Go to the off broadway show. Cook something. Inspiration is even more scarce than time. Children actually aid in this. Science and art projects.

To thy own self be true. Even if people think you are too hyper, too emotional, too quiet, or whatever. Work on self improvement, but you gotta be who you are

The study compared personality traits gleaned from Facebook profiles to job candidates' self-reported personality tests, to see which method was a better predictor of job performance.

 "Not only can you find very current information on someone's  social media profile, but you can also access a record of that person's past behaviour," said Katelyn Cavanaugh, one of the study's authors and a doctoral student at Old Dominion.

 I had a conversation with a friend the other day about his job search that went something like this:

Friend: I wrote to him last week and still haven’t heard back. It’s so frustrating.

Me: Why not follow up and check in?

Friend: I don’t want to be annoying.

I understand the fear. No one wants to be annoying or bothersome to a professional contact, especially when you want a job, meeting, sales dollars, or something else very important from that person.

But here’s the rub. The average person can get a few hundred emails a day. That makes it pretty tough to respond to all of them, and things naturally fall to the bottom of the list. If you don’t get a response, it doesn’t mean that someone’s ignoring you—it just may mean that he or she is too busy.

So, to the question: Should you follow up? Absolutely. In fact, it’s your job. And how often should you do so? My philosophy is: As many times as it takes. The important thing is to do it the right way. Or, as I call it, to be “pleasantly persistent.”

Here are a few tips on how to (nicely) follow up with that hiring manager, sales lead, or VIP—and get the answer you’re looking for.

Rule 1: Be Overly Polite and Humble

That seems obvious enough, but a lot of people take it personally when they don’t hear back from someone right away. Resist the urge to get upset or mad, and never take your feelings out in an email, saying something like, “You haven’t responded yet,” or “You ignored my first email.” Just maintain an extremely polite tone throughout the entire email thread. Showing that you’re friendly and that you understand how busy your contact is is a good way to keep him or her interested (and not mad).

Rule 2: Persistent Doesn’t Mean Every Day

Sending a follow-up email every day doesn’t show you have gumption or passion, it shows you don’t respect a person’s time. The general rule of thumb is to give at least a week before following up. Any sooner, and it might come off as pushy; let too much time pass, and you risk the other person not having any clue who you are. I typically start off with an email every week, and then switch to every couple of weeks.

Rule 3: Directly Ask if You Should Stop Reaching Out

If you’ve followed up a few times and still haven’t heard back, it’s worth directly asking if you should stop following up. After all, you don’t want to waste your time, either. I’ll sometimes say, “I know how busy you are and completely understand if you just haven’t had the time to reach back out. But I don’t want to bombard you with emails if you’re not interested. Just let me know if you’d prefer I stop following up.” Most people respect honesty and don’t want to waste someone’s time, and they’ll at least let you know one way or another.

Rule 4: Stand Out in a Good Way

I once had someone trying to sell me something that I was remotely interested in but that was nowhere near the top of my priority list. Every week, he’d send me a new email quickly re-explaining what he sold—as well as a suggestion for good pizza to try around the city. Why? He had seen a blog post where I mentioned I’d eat pizza 24/7 if I could, and cleverly worked that into his follow-up. It made him stand out in a good way, and as a result, we eventually had a call.

The lesson: If done well, a little creativity in your follow up can go a long way. If you’re following up about a job, try Alexandra Franzen’s tips for giving the hiring manager something he or she can’t resist.

Rule 5: Change it Up

If you’re not connecting with someone, try changing it up. In other words, don’t send the exact same email at the same time of day on the same day of week. Getting people to respond can sometimes just come down to catching them at the right time. If you always follow up in the morning, maybe try later in the day a few times.

Remember: If someone does ask you to stop following up, stop following up. But until you hear that, it’s your responsibility to keep trying.

Relationship alternative.

When you realise that changing yourself is not actually outright change but growth. A relationship takes two people, committed to each other. Each one is to conform and compromise. Real relationships are about both adopting to each other, when this takes place a marked improvement is noticed in your relationship.

There are always a assumptions or thoughts which you know, which is found be be wrong. You need to be open to new ideas and new concepts in being.

In order for things to improve, you are required to go into them with an open mind; a mind that accepts diversity and change; a mind that seeks opportunity to evolve and realise the potential. Succumbing to change is never a weakness, it is a powerful strength. This strength proves that you are in for the long haul and truly care for your partner, lover, friend and mate. In turn they will have the same devotional goal.

Acknowledge that you cannot and will not change your partner, lover, friend or mate. They evolve and grow with you.

The one thing that has driven men mad is the fact that women tend to gets to know them, develop feelings for them, date them, and committee to them, only to try to change them. And this is where women and men go wrong.

You cannot make a man do certain things nor can you make him following certain habits. All you can do however is to communicate your views, wishes and desires and hope for the best. You also cannot control the thoughts that go through his head, regardless of how determined you are. Do however make requests of him. Do not fall into the category of a manipulator.

There is a warning: There are exceptions to every rule. There are men and women out there who are simple genuine jerks, flakes, wankers, who want to make your life hell. There are men who will forever trapped in their childlike and / or stubborn ways, refusing to expand and grow or even acknowledge growth.

Women as a whole tend to be more emotional and thoughtful. This drives you insane from over thinking and getting nowhere.

How many times have you tried to pour your heart out to your man, only to have him immediately get defensive and act as if you have accused him of something or rather? He then accuses you of overthinking, over analysing and / or living in the past.

He basically informs you to build a bridge and get over it, and then less-than-respectfully you get a grip?

I know the answer is ‘yes’

The resentment is the result for you as the bridge is built and crossing it countless of times, only for you to realise that every time you cross it, you never left. Causing you, by the build-up of negative feelings towards that person. You start to develop “why bother” attitude whether you realise it or not.

You have officially developed a state of mind called, NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD.

No it is not personified version of a computer virus.

It is when your build-up of anger, frustrations and the pain dealing with your man starts to override any and all pleasant thoughts about him. Leaving things uncompleted and undone.

Once this occurs, you lash out for what seems to be no reason, when actually there are real reasons. You become the one who has the problem. Alternatively you may put up an emotional road block, no longer letting him in. You may find yourself becoming mentally unbalanced. You become emotionally distant. He will lose interest and leave,  not caring of the mess he has placed you in. And his attitude “I don’t know what went wrong” :she is the crazy one” .

Men and women are different. This makes neither right nor wrong – just different. You simply have to embrace that fact. You are two different people. It is that the two of you choose to do with those differences that really matters. You both need to acknowledge and accept those differences for what they are.

When we become familiar with each other we both begin to expect certain behaviours from one and other. When we do not get what we expect, we in the beginning to see annoyances, even the smallest one.. We expect someone to act in the way we deem normal.

 Over time, we give focus on these differences and quirks, some people seize on them and the relationships start to be in jeopardy, others accept them for who they are and build from those, these relationships succeed, expand and grow.

Men hurt. Men can crumble inside and face the greatest adversities with fear and dread,  if he dares to show it on the outside, he risks his reputation and his standing in the society and community as a whole. Rather than risk this, many men simply block things out and shut their emotions down.

Example: What happens when a little girl cries?

Hearts break and people rush to their aid, by scooping them up and cuddling them, reassuring them.

                  What happens when a little boy cries?

More often that you realise, they are told to grow up, man up, or walk it off.

From an very early age, our emotions are stifled and taught to us. Can you see how these may create some adverse and relationship – affecting traits?

Many men will simply err on the side of caution and not show any emotions at all. Women become very emotional and always feeling things.

Men, when they had a heated argument usually tries to act as if nothing much has happened and goes to work or about their business or pleasure. It is either that or he stays angry. Which can build up like a pressure cooker. When they approach their family or friends for support, they are heckled and jeered upon.

Women generally want to pull their hair out, have a dam good cry, and possibly even contact their friends or family for a support system.

Conflict generally weighs more on the woman and stick with them longer. Does this make them weak? Hell NO! Not one iota. Try to imagine a man doing that!  

The key is a delicate balance of emotional strength and real, human, honest to goodness release. When, Where, How? Herein lies the problem men face every single day.

Women claim that they want a man who is not afraid to show emotion, but many women often shudder when they actually see those things in a man.

Many women believe men are emotionless, unfeeling beings. This is far from the real truth. Men can feel and experience just as much fear and uneasiness as any woman. They can feel heart-wrenching loneliness just as often. The difference is that they were not raised to show that part of them openly. Doing so sends them back to the days of childhood and running to the parent to doctor them. More often the men were not geared to be the ones doing the comforting, not the ones needing to be comforted. Generations of men have been raised and wired this way. They simply cannot help it.

There are absolutely exceptions, the problem lies in trying to be one of the exceptions without being judged or seen as less of a man. It feels like a “can’t win” situation, regardless of which they choose.

Do men become the man we deserve and long for or, do the men what is expected by the majority? The answer is not cut and dry as you might think.

 

 

Appointments

Story of Time in appointments. Please comment and take a moment to feel what happened and see what your feelings are about this situation or any situation. recipient as well as participant.

 

Story. Man wanted to see woman.. Man said 10 am at a certain place. Woman agrees. Woman was early and waited but had other things to do. Should she stand around waiting for man. Two and half hours pass. Woman thought she was stood up so went around to do other things which was important. Man arrived 2 hours later. Then stayed around half hour then went home and complained about the woman not being there, all over the net. The time was specific 10 am. Was the given time, and agreed up on. He arrived 12 pm.. First meeting. How would you feel about this. Story.. it happened.

 

The male never gave his number for any phone calls..  

 Question: Should the woman stick around? Question: Did the man have the right to abuse her about not being there?  

Now. to complete the story. Man was an important person. Does he have the right to abuse her on line? Making out that he was the victim and say he was stood up and he likes punctual , and carry on....?  

I find it all so interesting.. as many men complain about women, when men also do the same things.  

So you rather be late for a meeting or early?  

Does a doctor see you when you are late or early? Or on his time schedule?  

What happens if your kept waiting even when you are on time?  

How do you feel when he is never on time and what are your reactions?  

Do you look rushed when you’re on time?  

Or do you arrive a bit early to give yourself time to prune up and be on time?  

Or do you like letting time go, to see what the other person does and why?  

Have you any integrity?  

She arrive early and was there on time.. she .. are you late every time? What is your explanation when you are before or late on the designated time?  

And when you give a speech are you on time? Or are you there early going over your speech.. calming down and preparing so you can be on time?  

Or do you rush in and look messed up and go out there with no prep, on time?  

These are all valid questions.  

Being late has no integrity, as you lose the confidence of people. It shows who you are. privately as well as business and etc  

I might add, waiting around ..also shows who you are.

Do not judge.

You may not be allowed to judge me!

You may not be allowed to tell me that I am ruthless and arrogant!

I will not allow you to take control of life at any cost as for now I am a creative extraordinary being which was born to live life my way through what life gives me.

To take responsibility of my life, is my right, not yours.

You were not there when I was fighting my own battle, in danger or going through torments of others.

Where were you when I was shattered and lonely?

Where were you when I needed a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold throughout my bad and hard  times?

Where were you when I needed someone to wipe my tears and hold my face to tell me that things would be alright soon. I had no one to support me, no one to guide me and hold me during those darkest days of my life.

Now when I have somehow struggled through and found my own way,
you cannot come and victimize me all over again.

I will never allow that to happen. I have learned the hard way. Now I will live my life my way. Taking responsibility for living my life and taking responsibility for living and growing, with expansion rather than having those walls build up and stopping me from living and losing control to others..

When I care for others, it comes from the heart that is within me. When I go out and share with people the stories of past. I give respect and options for others. I chose to live life as I choose to.

When you copy anything which is me. That is your responsibility. Do not take away things which are not your in the first place. As experience is in with what I am. Not what you pretend to be.

 

Do what you have to do today so you can do what you want tomorrow. What you to really want is a life us that takes pride that you have lived, and that takes work. The only way that we can truly live, is to grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change.  The only way to change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way we can become exposed is if we are willing to place ourselves out there and work through life’s difficulties.

 

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

Abusive Signs

The state of California defines spousal abuse as intentionally or recklessly causing bodily injury to your spouse. California also includes sexual abuse or putting someone in fear of bodily harm under the same umbrella as spousal abuse. People have been convicted in California of spousal abuse without once laying a hand on their husband or wife. Threats made out of anger can count as spousal abuse if your spouse becomes fearful that you will harm her. The effects of verbal abuse among a family includes the abuser who is unseeing to their actions, their spouse that endures the abuse and their children whom observe and may fall victim to the abuse as well. While being verbally abusive, the abuser does not feel any impact of the effects of what he/she is doing to their spouse and their children. Majority of abusers are blind to their behavior, they use conflicts and words to emotionally breakdown their victims on a daily basis. Frequently not noticed by other family or friends of the victim, an abuser can seem friendly and trustworthy by other outsiders. In the beginning of the relationship, the abuser does not make their problem evident until after they feel their spouse is completely theirs. An abuser perceives their spouse as a reflection of what is missing within them. The abuser feels that they are entitled to give orders and known to try to define how their spouse thinks and feels. To an abuser this kind of behavior is considered “normal”, their irrational philosophy causes them feel threatened if their spouse does not walk, talk, or think like the abuser. As a result, the spouse existing in a verbally abusive relationship can be manipulated to consider that the way they are being treated is their fault. This method of abuse on a spouse can be more damaging than physical abuse. Hurt feelings and issues seem never to be resolved because the victim chooses not to challenge their abuser. The person rendering the abuse habitually claims they are opinion is more important... A master at verbal abuse can damage your self-esteem while, at the same time, appear to care deeply for you. The use of words to punish is a very covert attempt to control and regardless of how loving your spouse may appear to be, verbal abuse is wrong and can be just has harmful as physical abuse.
“You are such an idiot!” “Who do you think you are?” “How can you be so stupid?” “You never listen to a word I say.” “Playing video games is silly.” “Only bad men look at Playboy.” “You are wrong, I am right!” “You got fat after we got married.” “You are such a retard.” "You were never pregnant" even though the mental health team knew you were! Medical facts.. "your stupid, I never cheated on you" "No I never gave you STD's. No matter what the doctor informs you"

Being shamed will cause you to pull away from friends and family. Shame tells you, you are not worthy of having relationships. People who feel shame are likely to be angry and to blame others for their feelings. It is ironic that feelings of shame cause the destruction of the very thing you may want…relationship and connection with your spouse.
When shamed by our spouse’s words we withdraw from the very thing that we need to recover…relationships. Not only does shame destroy relationships but also relationships destroy shame.
Blaming other people or circumstances seems to be the way some people deal with conflict or unpleasant situations. When I think about a climate of blame in a marital relationship, I think of the negative effect it has on a marriage.Effects such as:
  Fear of taking a risk.
  Fear of taking responsibility
  Increaded emotional stress.
  Decreased desire to communicate.
  A sense powerlessness and discouragement.
  Decreased passion and intimacy.

Blame in marital relationships causes despair, feelings of powerlessness and unhappiness for the spouse on the receiving end of all that blame.

Blame allows a spouse to put responsibility on their mate and everything other than himself/herself. It means your spouse doesn’t have to experience the discomfort of looking at their own faults or take responsibility for the situation. If a spouse doesn’t have to look at their own faults or take responsibility that means they don’t have to change. It is the other person who needs to change…with the problems and the blaming spouse can stay in their comfort zone.
Next time your spouse blames you instead of taking responsibility tell him/her they are failing to have a responsible attitude. And, in doing so, are failing to get the most they can out of the situation.

Blame allows a spouse to put responsibility on their mate and everything other than himself/herself. It means your spouse doesn’t have to experience the discomfort of looking at their own faults or take responsibility for the situation. If a spouse doesn’t have to look at their own faults or take responsibility that means they don’t have to change. It is the other person who needs to change…with the problems and the blaming spouse can stay in their comfort zone.
Abraham Maslow said, “One can spend a lifetime assigning blame, find the cause 'out there' for all the troubles that exist. Contrast this with the 'responsible attitude' of confronting the situation, bad or good, and instead of asking, 'What caused the trouble? Who was to blame?' asking 'How can I handle this present situation to make the most of it? What can I salvage here?”
Abraham Maslow said, “One can spend a lifetime assigning blame, find the cause 'out there' for all the troubles that exist. Contrast this with the 'responsible attitude' of confronting the situation, bad or good, and instead of asking, 'What caused the trouble? Who was to blame?' asking 'How can I handle this present situation to make the most of it? What can I salvage here?”
Next time your spouse blames you instead of taking responsibility tell him/her they are failing to have a responsible attitude. And, in doing so, are failing to get the most they can out of the situation.