The Two Letters that is Hard to Say

                                       Written by Sonia F Stevens copyrighted 2013





No… The power of NO

Two little letters of the alphabet, which make one small word. Why do we still find it hard to say that word “NO”?

If you are someone who says ‘Yes’ and regrets it later, contact the person and say, ”I know i said ‘yes’ earlier but I have thought about it a bit more and I am not able to...”

Saying “Can I get back to you?, I like to think about it before I committing” can be helpful when your first learning to say ‘No’. Acknowledging what the other person is saying then repeat your stance. Example, “I understand that you really like me to..... but no, I’m not interested”: If they keep trying to coerce or guilt you into saying ‘yes’ keep repeating this in a clam way. Then keep repeating it with anything you would like to add. Say it more assertively each time until it feels comfortable.

If you feel guilty saying ‘No’, which is normal when you start speaking up for yourself – remind yourself: I have not done anything wrong by saying ’no’ ; nobody is going to die because I said ‘No’

Saying no to an old friend who wants to borrow or wants you to do something, to a co-worker who wants you to cover their work or shifts, or your child who wants that ludicrously expensive game or shoes or the “Named” Jeans, why is it so hard for you to just say “No”?; and everyone, including me, has a right to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty.

That inability to say that small word “No”, as is so very common problem for both males and females of all ages. Many adults have never learnt the art, (yes.. it is an art) of saying “No”. This word is not taught in schools or homes, it is an important life skill.

As children our parents expect us to do what we are told, even when we do not want to. While this is a reasonable parental expectation, it can mean we learn that it is not ok to say that word “No”. All this is fine when it refers to making your bed, doing the dishes, having both for example. For other situations and into adulthood, this might not be good.

This leaves you disempowered by placing others needs more important than your own. As in doing this puts pressure on you, your body, your mind and your being.

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No

You will build self respect and confidence. When you say ‘No’ you are demonstrating to yourself that you value yourself, your desires, your time, and that you are capable of making your own choices and taking a stand.

You will feel empowered. You are actually choosing that option, for example, not to loan your friends money, rather than saying ‘yes’ out of obligation or to keep someone else happy and you sad, angry, disappointed.

Your relationships will benefit. When you can comfortably and respectfully say ‘no’; those around you know where you stand. Saying ‘no’ gives others a sense of respect for you and trust in you because they know you day what you are really thinking.

You will develop inner peace. Saying “Yes” when you mean “No” can lead to resentment if you are repeatedly doing things you do not want to do. The notion of self care might seem selfish or self centred, although paradoxically, by giving more to yourself, by giving more to yourself, as you will have more to give to others.

You are caring for yourself. Self care in saying ’no’ is  assisting you as it combats those feelings of deprivation, exhaustion, resentment and anger that comes with “yes” too often and putting yourself way down on your list of priorities.

You are honouring your values. Your values are your deepest beliefs about what is important in your life. Saying ‘no’ to things that are not aligned to your values is fundamental to your happiness, confidence and self worth. This could mean saying ‘no’ to the way of life, a job, a relationship, drinking alcohol is having an internal conversation with yourself,  “This is not what I want”.

It keeps you safe. By saying ‘no’ you are communicating your boundaries about what feels safe and what does not. If it does not feel right, we need to be able to sat ‘NO’.

The integrity of this word “NO” a shield against exploitation and an instrument when wielded wisely.

There is a lot of talk about “yes” as it supports risk taking, courage, open hearted approach to life which grace cannot be minimised.

“No” Slams the door shut between one’s self and the influence of others. It has a hidden power .    It is easy misunderstood, difficult to engage. And others.

Negativity is ongoing attitude. NO.. is a moment of clear choice. It announces, indirectly, something affirmative about you.

NO.. has two faces, one we turn towards ourselves and one that creates boundaries between ourselves.

No.. the one we address to struggle to strengthen our internal.

No.. the one we address to our own self-destructive impulses, struggle which we are most familiar.

That NO controls our vent of rage on the road and our urge for that addiction. No.. self-discipline

No..  The one we learnt as babies to adulthood.

No… Line in the sand or stone. 

If you feel you cannot say no, at least to something’s, some of the time. Then you are being controlled.. Interesting is it now how we as human beings act.

Gentle Art of Saying No:

1.      Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.” “I’m not able to….” “I do not want to….” “I have other commitments and time is not available…” You do not have to explain yourself unless you really want to. If pressed for an explanation, simply say or repeat, “I just don’t want to” or the above examples.

2.      Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3.      Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4.      Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

5.      Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6.      Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7.      Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8.      Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.

9.      Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10.  It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Insanely productive people have learned the two most important things every person needs to know in this life:

·         Who they are

·         What their purpose (path) in life is

And that’s where we begin.

 

1. They Know Who They Are And Who They Want To Be

Productivity is a sexy topic lately because most people are radically confused about who they are. As a result, they want a quick scheme to the world’s definition of success. They’ve yet to define success for themselves. They want it all laid out for them. They want a to-do list. They believe that doing lots of stuff will get them what they want. Maybe it will impress other people? Maybe it will get them ahead of the competition? But who really is the competition? That’s the problem.

Most people are still competing with other people. They are trying to fit in. They’re trying to be perceived as awesome. In truth, they’re profoundly insecure. They’re caught in an endless identity crisis – going from one thing to the next. Whatever is popular at the time – the illusive quest for acceptance—the lack of depth and commitment. And that’s the difference. Non-productive people seek security externally. They seek security in a paycheck, or in friends, or in perceived success. Rather than experiencing security, in reality, they are the slaves to these things. They will do anything to have these things. They are not free.

However, insanely productive people know that security can only really be experienced internally. They know who they are. So they don’t worry about all these traps that sabotage and slow the masses. They fully accept and understand themselves – and that’s good enough for them. No external standard of success will ever compare to their own self-awareness and acceptance.

Beyond knowing who they are, they know who they are going to become. They’re not going to be tossed off course by the next big thing. Until you know who are you, you will never be insanely productive. It doesn’t matter how much you “accomplish” in your life if it’s not the life you really wanted to live – the life you were meant to live.

Insanely productive people have moved well beyond that. Their evolution has opened within them the space to do what only they can do. Every person on this planet is a unique individual with a unique opportunity to serve and give in their own personal way. You can’t do that work until you know who you are.

2. They Know Where They Want To Go

 “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.” “I don’t much care where –” “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Like point one, most people want to be told where to go. They want to be told who to be. They don’t really care where it is – so long as it seems awesome to everyone else. This sidetracks people all the time. Rather than doing what they genuinely love, they take the job that offers the most money, prestige, or accolades. They spend decades of their lives on the wrong path.

At some point or another, they have their identity crisis and realize they have no idea what they really want in life. They have no idea where they are going. However, insanely productive people are purposeful about where they intend to end up. Every day of their lives is spent building toward their highest ideal. The things on their to-do lists actually make cohesive sense.

The truth is, insanely productive people aren’t moving any faster than the rest. More often, they are moving slower. The difference is, unlike the norm, insanely productive people are moving in one direction. Five steps in one of those directions seems like a lot to the person who has moved one step in five directions.

3. They Let Go Of ‘The Need For A Specific Result’

Jeremy Piven, the famous actor, was recently interviewed by Success Magazine. During the interview, he mentioned that, as an actor, the only way to work is to go out and audition for specific roles. The challenge most actors/actresses face is that they get in their own way. It doesn’t matter how much homework they’ve done. If they’re too tied to a specific result, they can’t be present in the moment. They can’t truly perform their art. They come off as desperate. They get in their own way. Their performance isn’t what it could have been.

Jeremy said that when he quit worrying about a specific result, he was able to be present during his auditions. He was able to be completely who he wanted to be. He wasn’t trying to be what he thought others wanted him to be. He performed his art. If he didn’t get the gig, either they didn’t get it or it just wasn’t the right fit. So he moves on to the next. In this way, he’s able to get the jobs he’s supposed to have. He’s not just trying to get anything he can get.

Insanely productive people are the same way. They are raw and real. They are present and perform on their highest level because they aren’t dependent on a particular outcome. They have an innate trust that everything will work out for them if they’re authentic. They trust in the universe – their higher power – to take them where they need to go.

4. They Don’t Care What Other People Are Doing

Most people spend the majority of their time watching and observing other people. The goal is to emulate and copy, or to compare and compete. This highlights an utter lack of achieved identity – an emotional and spiritual immaturity.

On the other hand, insanely productive people spend very little if any of their time worrying about what other people, “their competition,” are doing. They see this as a distraction from their work. They put their heads down and execute. Gary Vaynerchuck, perhaps one of the most productive people on earth, says he doesn’t have time to read other people’s stuff. He’s too busy creating his own content.

5. They Don’t Care What Other People Think

“What people think of you is none of your business.” – Amy Hatvany

The majority of the population lives in absolute fear about what other people think of them. They try to be perfect. They try to be liked. They are unwilling to be vulnerable. To be real and truthful.

Insanely productive people put themselves completely out there. They are doing their work for themselves and for the people it was intended for. Anyone outside their target audience doesn’t exist to them. Haters and critics are flowers, not darts.

6. But They Care Intensely About Those They Serve

Despite caring very little about what other people think, insanely productive people care fiercely about other people. They have a love for humanity that is nothing short of divine. Every person has infinite potential in their worldview. When they look at another person, they see a person – not an object. They feel. Like really feel. It’s not a staged act.

Insanely productive people are incredibly empathetic. They relate with people on their level. They’re relevant and connect. They influence with their love. Those they serve can feel it and they’re changed.

7. Their Work Is Their Art – It’s Highly Personal

Insanely productive people don’t have jobs. They are artists – even if accountants, bankers, or lawyers. The work they do is everything they are. They give completely to their work. It’s emotional labor. When they finish, there’s nothing left. If it isn’t meaningful, they don’t do it. To do so doesn’t make sense to them.

If they can’t feel it deep when they are working, they are not working. They’re not living. They’re not in the zone. And they seek that zone. That’s when art and magic happens. Everything in their life is set up to create that space. This is why they were born.

8. They Don’t Need Permission

Most people wait. They believe they can start after they have enough time, money, connections, and credentials. They wait until they feel “secure.” Not insanely productive people.

Insanely productive people started last year. They started five years ago before they even knew what they were doing. They started before they had any money. They started before they had all the answers. They started when no one else believed in them. The only permission they needed was the voice inside them prompting them to move forward. And they moved.

9. They Learn Through Doing

Theory can only take a person so far. Putting yourself out there and falling flat on your face, over, and over, and over is how insanely productive people learn. Rather than having meetings and discussions, they go out and practice. While most people are reading, thinking, and dreaming, insanely productive people are out doing. The goal is to learn while creating output. Non-productive people on the other hand have a lopsided ratio of input and output – with very little of the latter.

10. They Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously

Insanely productive people have an ease about life. Everything is going to be okay. They allow themselves to laugh and to feel and to love. They don’t overthink themselves. They don’t define themselves by their achievements.

They laugh at themselves when they make blunders. They’re okay with the fact that they’re not perfect. They embrace their humanity. They genuinely like themselves as a human being. They don’t crucify themselves at every mistake. They give themselves the benefit of the doubt.

11. They Can Enjoy Where They Presently Are On ‘The Path’

“When someone says: “So what’s next?” As in, “how are you going to top that?” You don’t have to have an answer. The answer can be: “This.” Your life doesn’t have to be about impressing other people or a successive series of achievements.”- Ryan Holiday

Insanely productive people find joy in the journey. They aren’t always waiting for that next chapter in life. They are happy with where they are. They are alive. Non-productive people wait for contentment until after they graduate from college, or get that promotion, or retire. All the while, their life passed them by and they never really experienced the moment.

12. They Ask For Help

“Rainmakers generate revenue by making asks. They ask for donations. They ask for contracts. They ask for deals. They ask for opportunities. They ask to meet with leaders or speak to them over the phone. They ask for publicity. They come up with ideas and ask for a few minutes of your time to pitch it. They ask for help. Don’t let rainmaking deter you from your dream. It’s one of the barriers to entry, and you can overcome it. Once you taste the sweet victory of a positive response, you’ll not only become comfortable with it, you might even enjoy it. But making asks is the only way to bring your dream to life.” – Ben Arment

Insanely productive people know they don’t have all the answers. They aren’t afraid to ask for directions when lost. They aren’t too proud to say when they’re having a hard time.

Amanda Palmer is a famous musician. Her career is based on making asks. She left her record label so she could give her music away for free. She had enough trust in her fans and followers to ask them for help in exchange for the value she provided them. She launched a Kickstarter and made well over a million dollars. She couchsurfs all over the world. Her fans bring her food.

All she does is ask. She asks because she has courage. She asks because she has trust. She asks because she wants to be vulnerable with her tribe. They give generously because they have been the generous recipients of her gifts.

13. They Drop What’s Not Working

“Extraordinary benefits also accrue to the tiny majority with the guts to quit early and refocus their efforts on something new.” – Seth Godin

Insanely productive people understand the concept of sunk cost. When something isn’t working, they drop it and move on. They don’t continue putting resources into a burning ship.

14. They Think Laterally Rather Than Vertically

“Lateral thinking doesn’t replace hard work; it eliminates unnecessary cycles.” – Shane Snow

Most of the United States Presidents spent less time in politics than the average congressman. Moreover, the best, and most popular Presidents, generally spent the least amount of time in politics. Rather than spending decades climbing the tedious ladder with glass ceilings, they simply jumped laterally from a different, non-political ladder.

Ronald Reagan was an actor. Dwight Eisenhower laterally shifted from the military. Woodrow Wilson bounced over from academia. These men spent considerably little time in politics and became fabulous Presidents. They reached the top by skipping the unnecessary “dues-paying” steps. Insanely productive people think the same way. Rather than climbing up ladders the traditional ways, they think of alternative routes. They skip unnecessary steps by pivoting and shifting.

15. They Constantly Prune Their Lives

“You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” – Greg McKeown

Last but certainly not least—insanely productive people continuously “clean their closet.” They live minimally. When life starts getting too busy, they step back and remove what is unneeded. Rather than adding more to their life, they say, “no” to almost everything. If they’ve made non-essential commitments in their future, they cancel those superfluous appointments. Their lives are simple and to the point.

We’ve all been there, sitting in our local coffee shop with our book in hand, when suddenly you read something so enlightening, so unexpected that you choke a little on your double mocha frap. Maybe you stop to ponder for a minute that undeniable piece of wisdom, wisdom which flies in the frap-lathered face of an idea — or many — which you held so dear. This is a moment of epiphany change, and it feels fantastic.

 

(¯`´¯) ..•*¨`*♫.•´*.¸.•´♥`L O V E
 *.¸.*
The love that is within you need to be honoured.. not the love that is mixed with lust.. The love, love that gives you love with language, trust, gratitude, forgiveness .To honour and respect to acknowledge is respect is the simplest things. What happen when you honour the place in you as it honours you and the homage that is with you is called peace. Joy is your reward, it is called understanding.. it is called joy.. The clarity is the reward. Singularity is not duality, you need to find your singularity as you are born and die singularity. You need start that in your life which is in the light. When you give yourself the knowledge, you find the joy and light in your life. You find real love which is the light of your life and it is then you see every life for who/what is around you. Stop gossiping about others as then you find not the real joy of life. That light resides in your heart. The gift of knowledge , to turn the knowledge of the outside to turn the knowledge which is turned to inside of you. Full fill your thirst within you with the knowledge that is within you, It does not reside outside of you,. Appreciate what is in front of you. This is what gives you joy. Joy and peace reside within yourself it has nothing to do with what is outside of your being.. Feel your breath and feel the joy of the simple breath,  see the colours and know the joy of sight, see the textures and understand the joy of textures. Joy gives you a life of peace.. simple.. enjoy the simple things and hold on to them, release everything else so you can live in joy and in peace. The simple things gives us life and freedom. Don't get complicated.(¯`´¯) ..•*¨`*♫.• ´*.¸.•´♥`L O V E
                       *.¸.*

accomplishments

The past year 2012, I have assisted in establishing over 450+ projects, for people from nothing.
I know I said all those things which I personally want in my life..it is something i need to keep my sanity at times to want those things.
I am a female as you know, I have spinal situation/.
I created my life over again by re education of myself in... Screen and Media, Production, Music Business, Business , Pr and recording.
The past ten thirteen years, I built up a network thought my own research of over 90,000 Entertainment families. Not one cent came from anywhere.. As no one believed in me.

I have done 19 music videos for others , written two books, write blogs and empower many people. I have not been in the 'Limelight'. I taken photographs on many things since I was given my first box brownie..at the age a four.

I was ready and writing at the age of 2.

I sent over 100,000 books to the pacific for the communities over there, and gave that area of network to Rotary clubs in Sydney when they took it over in 2006 -7. I established all that from not having a penny to my name.
Everything I have done was from nothing, no money, no one behind me.
I wanted someone to love me for me.. so I went on line
Now I am clarifying that I know what it is like to be well off and also when you have nothing.
I want to play ,, enjoy life, for people and established many things in those past years since my divorce in 2003.
I grew up all over the place and met many people, well known and not so.. I was raped in 2004 and had major surgery then and in 2011.
I assisted many people, yet when I need to be looked after..no one came.. only three people out of the thousands ...
I am not a celebrity, or a well known star,, of business person.
When I applied for grants, funding support, I was turned away.. although I have achieved many things.

When I worked in Telecom I was in finance and accounting and handled million to the new infrastructure of cabling in and around Sydney and optical cable from NSW to Victoria.
The store guys nicked named me boots, as I was the one woman who went out in the field into their domain and seen how they worked, I even used a forklift. . hence the name boots.
I have been with many artists, picking them up and empowering them to create their passions and dreams, admitting I have lost a few, through suicides.

I treat everyone with respect no matter who they are.
I give food to the street people when they are begging..as that will fill their stomachs up or a warm blanket ,,,When I am able to do so.

I established Educational Books For Pacific by gathering and giving over 100,000 + books before handing the whole thing over in 2009 to Rotary.. not one company or government body wanted to assist in anyway until it was handed over.. I achieved that from nothing ... a thought..

I want a life where love is there for me. So I can curl up and just be.

When relationships are driven by complaint or by keeping track of who did what, or the need to be right, to control, the wonderful world of human possibilities ceased reverberate through them.* Possibilities between people require a space in which to create, and when that space isn’t there, most likely it’s because we’re holding on to something incomplete from the past.

Completing things comes down to a matter of getting beyond the “yeah buts” and “how ’bouts” and the “but ifs,” past our old assumptions about “the way things have been” and creating a context of our own choosing. When we experience things as being complete, it’s a state change, from being a character in a story to being the space in which the stories occurs—to being the author, as it were.

And because relationships exist in language (not just as a set of feelings or accumulation of experiences, for example), there’s a malleability, a plasticity, a can-be moved-around-ness about them. When we shift the locus of our dissatisfaction and complaints from something that exists “out there,” to something that’s located “in” what we are saying (language), what’s possible shifts. Being satisfied is not a feeling later labelled with the word “satisfaction,” rather it is a commitment, a stand we’re taking for that possibility. It’s a transformation—a contextual shift from being organized around “getting satisfied” to an experience of “being satisfied”—that alters the very nature of what’s possible.

When we compromise, even in the tiniest of matters, it’s easier for those compromises to become more and more commonplace.
Over time, bit by bit, this erodes our sense of self. It’s like stirring one drop of red paint into a can of white. The paint may turn only the palest shade of pink, and while that might seem barely noticeable—no matter what we say about it—the paint is no longer what it was. Similarly, when the wholeness and completeness of who we are is jeopardized in some way, albeit imperceptible at first, our sense of ourselves gets obscured, making it harder to return to who we are. When that begins, there’s really no starting point to become ourselves—it’s all flailing around.

The possibility of fully being ourselves occurs in proportion to our being authentic. Living with a pretence, or being afraid that some aspect of ourselves might be found out, precludes any real freedom. Being authentic requires courage. There is no template to follow, no zeitgeist to read, no known path to success. It’s a matter of courage—a matter of creating possibility. It gets made up as we go along, and it is this shift that makes available to us the full possibility of being human, Your inner Voice: The inner voice doesn’t so much conjure up the consolation of inner riches as it does a chattering internal radio. Our inner voice is at least faithful to us—it is reassuringly or irritatingly there on tap. It offers us the unfailing if ambiguous company of a guest who does not plan to leave. It can be companionable or frightening, may range from fascinated eavesdropping of oneself to a brooding censor within—an internal dialogue that occupies both sides.

There is a voice— questioned as to its origin, we have no doubt that it’s ours, but its habitual presence resembles a rapid low-grade commentary without authorship, rather in the manner of Samuel Beckett’s assessment: “whose voice, no one’s.” We are essentially in conversations with ourselves most all the time— conversations about what’s going well and what’s not, what others think, what we think, how we feel, the invariable what ifs, how about, are you kidding?, etc. That voiceover, that running stream of thinking and history and rumination, is not necessarily bad—it’s just, we never really get to hear another or they us. We pretty much listen only through the filter of what’s in our heads.

What we’re saying to others, or they to us, might seep in from time to time, but it isn’t in what we or they are saying—it’s what we’re saying plus what they are saying about what we’re saying, which isn’t what we’re saying, etc., and vice versa. That inner voice is a subtle and pervasive presence, and unfortunately has us miss out on the full possibility of communication and the infinite worlds it makes available. The business of living—our work, our mores, our relationships with friends, associates, and loved ones—is accomplished through speaking and listening.

Judgements

Non Judgemental is not reacting or giving advice according to your own belief system.  Fully accepting the person and their experiences, which can be separate to your own experiences.  Non judgement is genuine acceptance of different backgrounds and beliefs between you and the other person.

Suspension of judgement is suitable whenever someone discloses themselves and are feeling vulnerable to other peoples opinions and criticisms.  When they are trying to open up and trust you. We can often make judgements or conclusions too early before someone has finished talking. I find being non-judgemental in communicating takes a lot of self awareness.

Non-judgemental is important in interpersonal communication because it allows you to be completely open to the other person and what they are discussing and the other person will be heard.  It enables the person to experience and accept more of who they are and reconnect with their values and self worth.  It allows you to fully understand & value the other person’s point of view.

 

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

Every Woman

A woman wants a man who can love her completely with all his heart and soul.Every woman wants a man who falls in love with every bit of her. A man who would make her feel like the most special person in his life and give her all his attention, time and affection. Every woman wants to be respected for her ethics and values and she wants a man who will be her best friend forever and accept her just the way she is. And last but not the ...least he should never break her trust or ignore her love and needs as she will fill your desires, wants and needs.

 

Living Your Dreams

Living Your Dreams
Current mood:thoughtful
Dreams a (¯`´¯) ..•*¨`*♫.•´*.¸.•´♥`L O V E *.¸.*
When you follow your dream, it is important not to be one of those people who allow themselves to give up as soon as they face any type of difficulty or obstacles.  If you find yourself in a situation where it does not seem to you can hang on for another minuet, do not give up, because that is always the time when the tide turns. "It is always the darkest before the dawn".

It is true and it is something I remind myself of when things get rough.
We can't help being aware of the pull (the attachment, really) to what we've done repeatedly. Even when we know it's not working, we often find ourselves reverting to old, automatic patterns, whether it's holding on to our positions, playing it safe, being right... Pathways, conditions, and patterns established long ago many times aren't consistent with who we are and what we're up to today.

Hold on tenaciously to your dreams now, persevere, believe and the Universe will get behind you and create miracles for you. Feel this in your heart, your soul.
Remember to believe in yourself. As others belief's are not yours'. Respect others dreams and let others have their dreams and belief's.

Most important, always remain open to receiving your miracles
"Expect a Miracle" everyday.

Have the will and courage to endure, you will be in the exact right spot to grow and succeed.

You can live your life dreaming, or you can live your dreams.

Above all revel in your pursuits of your dreams, savor you successes, and forget your failures. They are not failures when you have learned things from the experiences.
"I have faith in myself and my abilities to overcome what ever is put in my path, because I know the "Universe and "I" is on my side. I have lessons to learn and grow.". "I have dreams and they will grow,when I allow them to."


Positively charged people react positively to life because they know winning means getting the upper hand in life.  You cannot win if you're feeling defensive all the time. You must take direct action so life reacts to you, instead of just reacting to what life throws to you.  You must do more than just think positively, you must act, feel positively as well. When you do these simple things, see how your life changes.

This does not mean that you ignore problems, but rather you refuse to let problems or obstacles stand in your way.

It means you are ready, will and able to do what ever it takes to make your dreams come true. It also means you do not let your emotions, like any fears and doubts, control your thoughts. Most importantly, it means you disregard what you cannot control, and only focus on the things you can change.

Recognizing the differences between being negatively and positively charged.

Situation: You are asked to do a new task
Negative Reaction: I do not know how.
Positive Reaction: I'll break it into small steps so it will be a piece of cake. "I can do this".

Situation: You're facing an obstacle that seems insurmountable
Negative Reaction: I will never be able to do anything about this.
Positive Reaction: What are the problems, what are the solutions, what do I do first? "When can I take Action?" What great new skill am I going to learn?"

Situation: Unexpected bills
Negative reaction:  What do I have to cut back on to pay the bills?
Positive Reaction: What can I do to earn more money? "Someone thinks of me"

Negative thoughts restrict your growth and your ability to overcome problems and obstacles. You must convert your negative thoughts into both positive thoughts and actions.  Once you do, nothing will ever be able to stand between you and your dreams. You will live you dream, rather that just dreaming.

Now is the time to really start taking life on. Your surrounded by both opportunity and positive energy now, to benefit from this incredible potential, you must take responsibility of you life and consciously use your good fortune to bring about real change, your desire.

"A price of greatness is Responsibility" W. Churchill.

To really experience life, you must participate in it.
That is why you must take responsibility for yourself, your goals, your progress and most important your dreams.

Only you have the power to fulfill your dreams, you just have to decide what you really want, then develop a plan to obtain it, then act upon your dreams, instead of waiting around for them to come true.
The only hard part is perhaps taking the first step. And that is hard because you properly have not ever done anything like it before.  Remember, once you take the first step, your dreams will start looking for ways to fulfill themselves.
Develop an attitude that says, "I have nothing to lose and everything to gain" because you do.  Never be in a rush to tell yourself "No" before anyone else does. Do Not put up barriers or obstacles where non exist. Most people stop themselves from realizing their dreams way before anyone else does.


Do NOT be concerned about doing everything right, because all successful people know "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly".

It is better to do something, anything than to do nothing. You can always make things better – as an artist, business man, athlete, singer or cook knows.
Almost nothing comes out perfect the first time, but practice almost everything gets better and clearer. So do not worry.

No matter what you do, if you keep doing it, it will get easier and easier, and you will get closer and closer to fulfilling your dreams.

Trails are made by the act of walking. Once made, we travel along the grooves that our own repeated action has made for us; the paths we take are well-worn because we take them every day, and we take them in part because, being so well-worn, they are the paths of least resistance and because venturing off the beaten path demands more work, and even risk.*

Transformation doesn't merely change our outlook and actions, it uncovers the structures of being and interpretation on which we are grounded. It removes arbitrary ideas and views that limit and shape what's possible. It takes practice, courage, and real work to give up old, unproductive ways of being. Choosing otherwise, choosing higher ground, inventing and sustaining frameworks that pull for possibility, forwarding the action, becomes a lifelong practice—a continual choosing.
The more we choose, the more we practice giving up what doesn't work, the better we get at it and the speed and frequency with which we free ourselves increases dramatically.

An early-warning system gets built; new environments and courses of action get established. The outcome extends in all directions—it reaches out into space and creates the future like a possibility.

Dreaming new ways to live and enjoy life is making new pathways. Many are afraid of change and will fight you, demoralise you, make you wrong and they want you to become what they see fit and know, these people are not dreamers. They are drones of the worn paths.

 Remember the phones, the light bulbs, the people who took a different path and made a difference to millions, billions, and your life. These people were shunned, blamed and tormented, although that was in the beginning of their dreams....look now!! you are using their dreams in your life....

 (¯`´¯) ..•*¨`*♫.•´*.¸.•´♥`L O V E *.¸.*

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!



Copyright by SFS 2003-2014

Why pull creative people down

When the small pox injections were introduced...people said it not good... many people died because they never took the vaccination. The real truth was that small injection stopped the out breaks and saved peoples lives. When the measles injection first came out.. people said it was not required, many children died before they took that simple injection. The Chicken pox,, the people again said the...y did not need it... thousands of children and adults died.. then when the took that simple injection there was no infection or deaths in any of those situations... Coup cough.... many died especially children,, then a simple injection was accepted and did wipe out ... many people don't want to believe that things were designed to keep people safe..

Polio a smile syrup cleared and prevented that problem where once it was massive problem. People who create get hammered and criticised against great odds of public opinions and beliefs that they are sometimes killed.. yet years later those same people are saved, inspired by those creators.
The car, the lights, they phones, the radio, tv, guns, bombs, iv, surrogacy , the things which we now take for granted.. the masses fought against in having in our lives...flights. aeroplanes. tap water. etc..., Why do people want to pull down creators? When it is those who make a difference.
Why gossip and hurt? Why demolish creativity in any field. Communities benefit in the long term.. We are to acknowledge those creators, We are to inspire those creators, We are to support those creators, all of them, as if we never had them ..we would be less, and still living in caves....with nothing...

 Yes we do make mistakes, we learn and improve on those .. by learning.. creating and going forward...After all we are creating, or music, our lives, our futures and we are improving on all levels.. Stop gossiping and start creating.. making a difference.

 

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

Presious Dreams

Our dreams combine verbal, visual and emotional stimuli into a sometimes broken, nonsensical but often entertaining story line. We can sometimes even solve problems in our sleep. Or can we? Many experts disagree on exactly what the purpose of our dreams might be. Are they strictly random brain impulses, or are our brains actually working through issues from our daily life while we sleep -- as a sort of coping mechanism? Should we even bother to interpret our dreams? Many say yes, that we have a great deal to learn from our dreams.

In this article, we'll talk about the major dream theories, from Freud's view to the hypotheses that claim we can control our dreams. We'll find out what scientists say is happening in our brains when we dream and why we have trouble remembering these night-time story lines. We'll talk about how you can try to control your dreams -- both what you're dreaming about and what you do once you're having the dream. We'll also find out what dream experts say particular scenarios signify. Finding yourself at work naked may not mean at all what you think it does!

For centuries, we've tried to figure out just why our brains play these nightly shows for us. Early civilizations thought dream worlds were real, physical worlds that they could enter only from their dream state. Researchers continue to toss around many theories about dreaming. Those theories essentially fall into two categories:

• The idea that dreams are only physiological stimulations
• The idea that dreams are psychologically necessary

Let's take a closer look at these theories.

Physiological theories are based on the idea that we dream in order to exercise various neural connections that some researchers believe affect certain types of learning. Psychological theories are based on the idea that dreaming allows us to sort through problems, events of the day or things that are requiring a lot of our attention. Some of these theorists think dreams might be prophetic. Many researchers and scientists also believe that perhaps it is a combination of the two theories. In the next section, we'll look at some of the major dream theorists and what they say about why we dream.

Dream Theories

First and foremost in dream theory is Sigmund Freud. Falling into the psychological camp, Dr. Freud's theories are based on the idea of repressed longing -- the desires that we aren't able to express in a social setting. Dreams allow the unconscious mind to act out those unacceptable thoughts and desires. For this reason, his theory about dreams focuses primarily on sexual desires and symbolism. For example, any cylindrical object in a dream represents the penis, while a cave or an enclosed object with an opening represents the vagina. Therefore, to dream of a train entering a tunnel would represent sexual intercourse. According to Freud, this dream indicates a suppressed longing for sex. Freud lived during the sexually repressed Victorian era, which in some way explains his focus. Still, he did once comment that, "Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar."

Carl Jung studied under Freud but soon decided his own ideas differed from Freud's to the extent that he needed to go in his own direction. He agreed with the psychological origin of dreams, but rather than saying that dreams originated from our primal needs and repressed wishes, he felt that dreams allowed us to reflect on our waking selves and solve our problems or think through issues.

­More recently, around 1973, researchers Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley set forth another theory that threw out the old psychoanalytical ideas. Their research on what was going in the brain during sleep gave them the idea that dreams were simply the result of random electrical brain impulses that pulled imagery from traces of experience stored in the memory. They hypothesize that these images don't form the stories that we remember as our dreams. Instead, our waking minds, in trying to make sense of the imagery, create the stories without our even realizing it -- simply because the brain wants to make sense of what it has experienced. While this theory, known as the activation-synthesis hypothesis, created a big rift in the dream research arena because of its leap away from the accepted theories, it has withstood the test of time and is still one of the more prominent dream theories.

Let's look a little deeper into what actually happens in the brain when we dream.

Dream PhilosophiesAccording to Nietzsche, "In the ages of the rude beginning of culture, man believed that he was discovering a second real world in dream, and here is the origin of all metaphysics. Without dreams, mankind would never have had occasion to invent such a division of the world. The parting of soul and body goes also with this way of interpreting dreams; likewise, the idea of a soul's apparitional body: whence all belief in ghosts, and apparently, too, in gods."

Dreaming and the Brain

When we sleep, we go through five sleep stages. The first stage is a very light sleep from which it is easy to wake up. The second stage moves into a slightly deeper sleep, and stages three and four represent our deepest sleep. Our brain activity throughout these stages is gradually slowing down so that by deep sleep, we experience nothing but delta brain waves -- the slowest brain waves (see "Brain Waves" sidebar). About 90 minutes after we go to sleep and after the fourth sleep stage, we begin REM sleep.

Rapid eye movement (REM) was discovered in 1953 by University of Chicago researchers Eugene Aserinsky, a graduate student in physiology, and Nathaniel Kleitman, Ph.D., chair of physiology. REM sleep is primarily characterized by movements of the eyes and is the fifth stage of sleep.

­During REM sleep, several physiological changes also take place. The heart rate and breathing quickens, the blood pressure rises, we can't regulate our body temperature as well and our brain activity increases to the same level (alpha) as when we are awake, or even higher. The rest of the body, however, is essentially paralyzed until we leave REM sleep. This paralysis is caused by the release of glycine, an amino acid, from the brain stem onto the moto neurons (neurons that conduct impulses outward from the brain or spinal cord). Because REM sleep is the sleep stage at which most dreaming takes place, this paralysis could be nature's way of making sure we don't act out our dreams. Otherwise, if you're sleeping next to someone who is dreaming about playing kickball, you might get kicked repeatedly while you sleep.

The four stages outside of REM sleep are called non-REM sleep (NREM). Although most dreams do take place during REM sleep, more recent research has shown that dreams can occur during any of the sleep stages. Tore A. Nielsen, Ph.D., of the Dream and Nightmare Laboratory in Montreal, refers to this as "covert REM sleep" making an appearance during NREM sleep. Most NREM dreams, however, don't have the intensity of REM dreams.

Throughout the night, we go through these five stages several times. Each subsequent cycle, however, includes more REM sleep and less deep sleep (stage three and four). By morning, we're having almost all stage one, two and five (REM) sleep.

Let's look at what happens if you don't get any REM sleep.

Brain WavesOur brains cycle through four types of brain waves, referred to as delta, theta, alpha and beta. Each type of brain wave represents a different speed of oscillating electrical voltages in the brain. Delta is the slowest (zero to four cycles per second) and is present in deep sleep. Theta (four to seven cycles per second) is present in stage one when we're in light sleep. Alpha waves, operating at eight to 13 cycles per second, occur during REM sleep (as well as when we are awake). And beta waves, which represent the fastest cycles at 13 to 40 per second, are usually only seen in very stressful situations or situations that require very strong mental concentration and focus. These four brain waves make up the electroencephalogram (EEG).

Dreams and REM Sleep

­What happens if you don't get any REM sleep? Originally, researchers thought that no REM sleep meant no dreams. They theorized that dreams were a sort of safety valve that helped your brain let off steam that you couldn't let off during the day. William Dement, MD, now at Stanford University School of Medicine, did a study in 1960 in which subjects were awakened every time they entered REM sleep. His findings included mild psychological disturbances such as anxiety, irritability and difficulty concentrating. He also noted an increase in appetite. While some studies backed up these ideas, more and more studies did not.

Additional studies tried to make a connection between difficulty remembering things and lack of REM sleep, but those studies too have been disproven with more research. An indisputable snag in the loss-of-memory-function theory was a man who had experienced a brain injury that resulted in him experiencing no REM sleep. He completed law school and had no problems in his day-to-day life.

The latest ideas on REM sleep are associated with learning. Researchers are trying to determine the effects that REM sleep and the lack of REM sleep have on learning certain types of skills -- usually physical skills rather than rote memory. This connection seems strong in some respects due to the fact that infants and toddlers experience much more REM sleep than adults.

Dream Recall

It is said that five minutes after the end of a dream, we have forgotten 50 percent of the dream's content. Ten minutes later, we've forgotten 90 percent of its content. Why is that? We don't forget our daily actions that quickly. The fact that they are so hard to remember makes their importance seem less.

Theories

Freud theorized that we forget our dreams because they contain our repressed thoughts and wishes and so we shouldn't want to remember them anyway. Other research points to the simple reason that other things get in the way. We are forward-thinking by nature, so remembering something when we first wake up is difficult.

L. Strumpell, a dream researcher of the same era as Freud, believed that several things contribute to our not being able to remember dreams. For one, he said that many things are quickly forgotten when you first wake up, such as physical sensations. He also considered the fact that many dream images are not very intense and would therefore be easy to forget. Another reason, and probably the strongest of his theories, is that we traditionally learn and remember both by association and repetition. As dreams are usually unique and somewhat vague to begin with, it stands to reason that remembering them could be difficult. For example, if someone speaks a phrase to you that doesn't immediately click with anything in your experience, you might need the person to repeat it in order to remember it or even understand it. Since we can't go back to our dreams to experience something again, details that are out of our realm of experience often escape us.

How to Improve Your Dream Recall.

There are many resources both on the Web and in print that will give you tips on how to improve your recall of dreams. Those who believe we have a lot to learn about ourselves from our dreams are big proponents of dream journals. Here are some steps you can take to increase your dream recall:

• When you go to bed, tell yourself you will remember your dreams. (Author's note: In researching this article, I found that thinking about dreams before I fell asleep actually made me remember having them, so this step did work in my experience.)
• Set your alarm to go off every hour and half so you'll wake up around the times that you leave REM sleep -- when you're most likely to remember your dreams. (Or, drink a lot of water before you go to bed to ensure you have to wake up at least once in the middle of the night!)
• Keep a pad and pencil next to your bed.
• Try to wake up slowly to remain within the "mood" of your last dream

Lucid Dreaming

There is a lot of research being done in dream control, particularly in the areas of lucid dreaming and dream incubation. Lucid dreaming is a learned skill and occurs when you are dreaming, you realize you are dreaming and you are able to then control what happens in your dream -- all while you're still asleep.

Being able to control your dreams would be a very cool thing to be able to do, but it is a difficult skill that usually takes special training. It is estimated that fewer than 100,000 people in the United States have the ability to have lucid dreams.

Although lucid dreaming is mentioned throughout history, it was not until 1959 at Johann Wolfgang Goethe University that an effective technique for inducing lucid dreams was developed, and true research into the phenomenon began taking place. In 1989, Paul Tholey, a German dream researcher who had been involved in the research at that university, wrote a paper about a technique he was studying to induce lucid dreams. It was called the reflection technique, and it involved asking yourself throughout the day if you were awake or dreaming. More research has indicated the need to practice recognizing odd occurrences, or dream signs, that would be a sign that "this is a dream" rather than reality.

Stephen LaBerge of Stanford University, founder of The Lucidity Institute, Lynne Levitan and other current dream researchers have studied lucid dreaming techniques extensively. They refer to a technique similar to Tholey's reflection method that they call "reality testing." This technique and one called MILD (Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams) have been among the most successful techniques for lucid dreaming.

The MILD technique involves similar reminders to the reality testing method but focuses those reminders at night rather than throughout the day and night. MILD begins with telling yourself when you go to bed that you'll remember your dreams. You then focus your attention on recognizing when you are dreaming and remembering that it is a dream. Then, you focus on reentering a recent dream and looking for clues that it is indeed a dream. You imagine what you would like to do within that dream. For example, you may want to fly, so you imagine yourself flying within that dream. You repeat these last two steps (recognizing when you're dreaming and reentering a dream) until you go to sleep. Using this technique, Dr. LaBerge has been able to have lucid dreams at will. Because this type of technique takes such mental training, however, LaBerge is now doing research using external stimuli to induce lucid dreams.

While lucid dreaming may just seem like a cool way to enter fantasy land, it also has several applications outside of recreation. According to LaBerge, for instance, lucid dreaming can help in personal development, enhancing self-confidence, overcoming nightmares, improving mental (and perhaps physical) health and facilitating creative problem solving. LaBerge also states on the Lucidity Web site:

"Lucid dreaming could provide the handicapped and other disadvantaged people with the nearest thing to fulfilling their impossible dreams: paralytics could walk again in their dreams, to say nothing of dancing and flying, and even experience emotionally satisfying erotic fantasies. Such sensorimotor practice could conceivably facilitate recovery from stroke."

Finally, lucid dreaming can function as a "world simulator." Just as a flight simulator allows people to learn to fly in a safe environment, lucid dreaming could allow people to  learn to live in any imaginable world; to experience and better choose among various possible futures.

Dream Incubation

Dream incubation is learning to plant a seed for a specific dream topic to occur. For example, you might go to bed repeating to yourself that you'll dream about a presentation you have coming up or a vacation you just took. Those who believe in problem solving through dreams use this technique to direct their dreams to the specific topic.

While somewhat similar to lucid dreaming in that problems can be solved, dream incubation is simply focusing attention on a specific issue when going to sleep. Several studies have shown this method to be successful over a period of time. For example, in a study at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Diedre Barrett had her students focus on a problem before going to sleep and found that it was certainly possible to come up with novel solutions in dreams that are both personally satisfying and reasonable to an outside observer. In her studies, two-thirds of participants had dreams that addressed their chosen problem, while one-third actually came up with solutions in their dreams.

Creativity and Inventions That Came from Dreams

Throughout history, inventors, writers, artists and scientists have solved problems in their dreams.

• Kekule, the German chemist who discovered the structure of the benzene molecule, had worked endlessly to figure it out. Then, in a dream, he saw snakes forming circles with their tails in their mouths. When he awoke, he realized that the benzene molecule, unlike all other known organic compounds, had a circular structure rather than a linear one.
• The inventor of the sewing machine, Elias Howe, had struggled in 1884 to figure out how the needle could work in a machine for sewing. In a dream, he found himself surrounded by native tribesmen with spears that had a hole in the point. When he woke up, he realized that a needle with a hole in the point would solve his problem.
• Mary Shelly, author of "Frankenstein," got the idea for the story from a dream.
• Edgar Allen Poe got inspiration from a dream featuring large luminous eyes for his story, "Lady Ligea."
• Many musicians, including Paul McCartney, Billy Joel and Beethoven, have found inspiration for their music from their dreams. Some hear musical arrangements in their dreams, while others hear lyrics.
• Golfer Jack Nicklaus found a new way to hold his golf club in a dream, which he credits as significantly improving his golf game.

What do our dreams mean?

Those on the physiology side of the "why we ream" argument see dreams as only nonsense that the brain creates from fragments of images and memory. For centuries, however, people have looked at their dreams as both omens and insights into their own psyches. Many think dreams are full of symbolic messages that may not be clear to us on the surface. But, if we dig deeper and think about what is going on in our lives, we can usually come up with an interpretation that makes sense. Let's look at the most common dream themes and how dream experts interpret them.

Common Dream Themes and Their Interpretations Being naked in public Most of us have had the dream at some point that we're at school, work or some social event, and we suddenly realize we forgot to put on clothes! Experts say this means:

• We're trying to hide something (and without clothes we have a hard time doing that).
• We're not prepared for something, like a presentation or test (and now everyone is going to know -- we're exposed!).

If we're naked but no one notices, then the interpretation is that whatever we're afraid of is unfounded. If we don't care that we're naked, the interpretation is that we're comfortable with who we are.

Falling

You're falling, falling, falling... and then you wake up. This is a very common dream and is said to symbolize insecurities and anxiety. Something in your life is essentially out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Another interpretation is that you have a sense of failure about something. Maybe you're not doing well in school or at work and are afraid you're going to be fired or expelled. Again, you feel that you can't control the situation. 

Being chased

The ever-popular chase dream can be extremely frightening. What it usually symbolizes is that you're running away from your problems. What that problem is depends on who is chasing you. It may be a problem at work, or it may be something about yourself that you know is destructive. For example, you may be drinking too much, and your dream may be telling you that your drinking is becoming a real problem.

Taking an exam (or forgetting that you have one)

This is another very common dream. You suddenly realize you are supposed to be taking an exam at that very moment. You might be running through the hallways and can't find the classroom. This type of dream can have several variations that have similar meanings. (Maybe your pen won't write, so you can't finish writing your answers.) What experts say this may mean is that you're being scrutinized about something or feel you're being tested -- maybe you're facing a challenge you don't think you're up to. You don't feel prepared or able to hold up to the scrutiny. It may also mean there is something you've neglected that you know needs your attention.

Flying

Many flying dreams are the result of lucid dreaming. Not all flying dreams are, however. Typically, dreaming that you are flying means you are on top of things. You are in control of the things that matter to you. Or, maybe you've just gained a new perspective on things. It may also mean you are strong willed and feel like no one and nothing can defeat you. If you are having problems maintaining your flight, someone or something may be standing in the way of you having control. If you are afraid while flying, you may have challenges that you don't feel up to. 

Running, but going nowhere

This theme can also be part of the chasing dream. You're trying to run, but either your legs won't move or you simply aren't going anywhere -- as if you were on a treadmill. According to some, this dream means you have too much on your plate. You're trying to do too many things at once and can't catch up or ever get ahead.

Your teeth falling out

Many people have dreams that they lose all of their teeth. In this dream, they may feel something strange in their mouth and then spit teeth into their hand, eventually losing all of their teeth. According to some, our teeth are related to our sense of power and our ability to communicate. Losing our teeth not only makes us embarrassed by our appearance, which hinders our communications, but it also lessens our power because we may not speak our minds. It's also associated with feelings about our appearance.

Recurring Dreams and Nightmares

Many people have the same or a similar dream many times, over either a short period of time or their lifetime. Recurring dreams usually mean there is something in your life you've not acknowledged that is causing stress of some sort. The dream repeats because you have not corrected the problem. Another theory is that people who experience recurring dreams have some sort of trauma in their past they are trying to deal with. In this case, the dreams tend to lessen with time.

Nightmares are dreams that are so distressing they usually wake us up, at least partially. Nightmares can occur at any age but are seen in children with the most frequency. Nightmares usually cause strong feelings of fear, sadness or anxiety. Their causes are varied. Some medications cause nightmares (or cause them if you discontinue the medication abruptly). Traumatic events also cause nightmares.

Treatment for recurring nightmares usually starts with interpreting what is going on in the dream and comparing that with what is happening in the person's life. Then, the person undergoes counseling to address the problems that are presumably causing the nightmare. Some sleep centers offer nightmare therapy and counseling. Another method of treating nightmares is through lucid dreaming. Through lucid dreaming, the dreamer can confront his or her attacker and, in some cases, end the nightmares.

Premonitions in Dreams

The science of dreams is obviously not a clear-cut one. While many believe our dreams mean something, there are also many who don't. But what about dreams that have foretold future events? Has this simply been coincidence? Below are some examples of dreams that have reportedly done just that.

• In "Lucid Dreaming," Stephen LaBerge reports that a man took his small son camping near a lake in a small valley near their home. He took the son to the water's edge to take a bath but realized he had forgotten the soap. He left the boy standing by the edge of the water and saw him picking up pebbles and throwing them into the water. When he returned with the soap, his son was lying face down in the water, dead. The man awoke and immediately realized this was only a dream. A while after that, some friends invited him and his son to go camping. Although it didn't occur to him immediately, the setting was similar to the setting he had seen in his dream. At one point during the camping trip, he took his son to the lake to take a bath but realized he had forgotten the soap. He sat the boy down and was leaving to get the soap when he saw the boy reach down and pick up pebbles to throw into the water. His dream immediately jumped into his head, and he snatched the boy up and took him with him.
• There is an investment group made up of people who have precognitive dreams about stocks. Phenomena Magazine: Precognitive Stock Market Dreamers (November 1, 2004) reports that Dr. Arthur Bernard, a psychologist who teaches dreamwork and a member of the group, had a very successful experience. He had a recurring dream about an obscure biotech stock called ICOS. In the dream, he saw the stock suddenly explode in value. Because of the intensity of the dream, he felt sure that this dream was precognitive. He bought about 40,000 shares of ICOS at $4 per share. He sold his shares in 1998 at $28 each, amounting to an approximate $1.6 million profit.
• Science Frontiers Online: Precognitive Dreams (Nov-Dec 1998) reports that M.S. Stowell, in her doctoral dissertation, interviewed several people who claimed to have precognitive dreams. Of 51 presumed precognitive dreams, Stowell was able to prove that 37 had indeed come true. One report from a woman named Elizabeth told of a dream about a plane crashing on a highway near an overpass. Elizabeth was driving her car on that highway at the time and could see that the plane was going to crash there as she drove under the overpass. In her dream, she just escaped the plane. Within a few weeks, a plane crashed on the highway she had dreamt about.
• Ongoing Dream Research and TherapyResearch in various areas of dreaming is ongoing, particularly in the areas of REM sleep and lucidity. One study in lucid dreaming involves trying to get the dreamer to communicate with observers while he or she is dreaming. Stephen LaBerge, who is at the forefront of lucid dreaming research, has successfully achieved communication through eye movements, but of course this type of communication is very limited. His ongoing work involves dreamers wearing a glove that incorporates movement sensors to record hand movements during sleep. By using sign language, they hope be able to get reports of dreams as they are occurring.
  One day, perhaps we'll all be able to control. 
• Every person on earth dreams pretty much every night, and evidence suggests that all mammals dream also. It follows then that something extremely important must be going on while we sleep and dream, yet in the industrialized world, the majority of people pay little attention to dreams, lucid dreams and dream interpretation, and sometimes even shortchange themselves on sleep because it is perceived as lost time, or at best unproductive.
  How astonishing that we generally ignore this third (and possibly far more) of ourselves - our dreams. An appropriate analogy to the grandeur of this mass misunderstanding is the incredible inertia in the middle ages against the idea of earth being other than flat until repeated point-blank evidence like Galileo’s observation of other planets and their moons as well as the journeys of Columbus and other explorers across the ocean proved conclusively otherwise. The challenge was that people’s everyday experience contradicted the idea of a spherical earth because nobody had yet gained perspective from outside of the system in order to interpret their experience from a larger view point. Airplanes and especially photographs from space were not yet available, so there was little first hand evidence of a new understanding that was a great leap beyond the old interpretation. Fortunately, with continuing research and analysis, proper understanding grew, and people eventually began to come around to an alternative view. The shift in understanding triggered an ensuing surge of exploration as the realization and acceptance finally dawned that our world really isn't flat after all.
  Dreams, in the same way, encompass yet another entire dimension of experience, an alternative world as yet unexplored by most, where a fascinating sphere of activity awaits investigation, interpretation, and potential harvest for greater meaning and fulfillment in waking life. The challenge is again the same — common daily experience for the average person offers little proof of this other reality that dreams encompass, let alone the possible value that understanding, interpreting, applying and thereby harvesting this other dimension of experience can bring - unless one can gain perspective from outside the 9-to-5 work day framework and the scientific purely-objective analysis of the system.
  Dream-related mental skills such as dream recall, dream interpretation, and lucid dreaming and information on subjects such as the perhaps-bitter-yet-valuable-medicine meaning of nightmares or precognitive dreams isn’t often taught in our schools; the majority of our parents knew or passed on little about the value of remembering and understanding dreams as we grew up, or the great potential that lucid dreams can offer for our personal evolution. Therefore it's no big surprise that many adults remember few or no dreams, and even less ponder the meaning of dream symbolism or set out to research, interpret and mine the jewels of guidance and creative inspiration hidden just below the surface of consciousness -- in dreams. Basically, nobody told us or showed us how dreams can be extremely practical.
  Current misguided concepts about the value of dreams and dream interpretation not only represent a crucial lack of understanding, but also represent and even bring about a lack of connection with the subconscious and our own deeper, intuitive mind. This long-standing trend of modern society often disregarding dreams and especially nightmares has created an artificial rift within many individuals, and may indirectly or even rather directly be the source for many of our current cultural, social, personal, political and planetary environmental challenges.
  One solution towards personal integration and thereby eventual rebalancing on a planetary level, is for each of us to realize and begin to investigate how our personal dreams, at very least, each night offer a direct means to explore and research inner reality directly and thereby gain unique, undeniable experiences that have deep personal meaning and creative insight to help us solve the problems we face. Further, there is overwhelming evidence that dreams, lucid dreaming, and dream interpretation can be applied in many practical ways to improve waking life, supporting Shakespeare's age-old claim by MacBeth that sleep and dreams are the "chief nourishers in life's feast". Dreams do indeed offer opportunities for fun, adventure, wish fulfillment, creativity, skill mastery, deep personal insight and healing — and dreams offer all this at no cost and with no line-ups!